longing to be elsewheree

2 Jul

sitting at work gives me a lot of time to think. recent thought topics – mexico. and traveling in general. my church back in lincoln and in houston both just went to brazil. and there are groups going everywhere. the only place i’ve been is mexico. my heart longs to be there. to be loving on kids, speaking broken spanish to them and having them laugh but help me with the right word.  i’ve thought many times this could just be because that’s the only other place my heart knows that’s over seas.  of course i would long to be back there. i know people say this after many trips, but i hate the longing deep inside my gut while looking at the recent ensenada trip pictures. memories come flooding up and the inside of my soul longs to just hop on a plane and get there right now. to find the ones i love and swing in the dirt with them. to run around and do nothing but look around. enjoy what’s there with them. its funny because there’s not much there. but i love it so much. so much abundance around me and yet i long to be back in the dirt.  i know God has a plan for me. one that’s for my betterment, but i can’t help but wonder what it is and how he’s going to use that deep passion inside me.  or where else He’s going to take me.  I would love to spend a week in africa. or argentina :). or anywhere. even boston. (i have experienced a similar gut wrenching want to be there recently as well.) anywhere God wants me.  in this deep longing, i’m learning to appreciate where i am though. i am learning. and working. and being surrounded by an awesome church community (which in reality, is a huge thing. the main reason i miss those places is because of the people there. i love my cousins. like crazy. i can’t understand why i understand spending days with a crazy 4 year old. or a ridiculous 8 year old boy. or the kids in mexico who loved me despite the language barrier. that kind of love is irreplaceable.) i’m finding what it is to appreciate where you are, because who knows. maybe in a couple years when i’m gone i’ll long to be back in waco. hahaha crazy thought now, but you never know.  i want to appreciate the moments here, instead of looking back with regrets.  for now, i will look at pictures and pray for those precious children.  and trust God i’m exactly where i need to be.

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One Response to “longing to be elsewheree”

  1. Anonymous July 7, 2009 at 1:33 pm #

    you are one amazing lady! i am so proud to be your aunt! i can't wait to see you again-maybe Boston!! for the record the crazy 4 year old is just like you were at 4!! love you

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