He knows.

11 Jun

You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways… My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery]. Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.

He is acquainted with ALL my ways. it’s been striking me recently how well Jesus knows me. but more than that, how well He knew me. He knew as He created me all of my emotions, thoughts, struggles, joy, activities, adventures, tears, all of it. He knew all of that. and He still made me. He didn’t have to make me, but He saw all those things, delighted in all of those things and carefully continued to make me. He made me without flaw. That last sentence is normally the hardest for me to believe. All I can see is the flaws, but He made me. Just the way He intended to make me. And He knew that I would have bad days, I would get too wrapped up in things, but for Him, I was worth it. He saw all of it worth it to be loved by me. He doesn’t need my love, but He wants my love. This is all stuff I knew about God, but it is really shaking things up in my heart as if it’s brand new. I have read psalm 139 hundreds of times, but yet it is now, this summer that God is speaking to that place in my heart that needs to know that He really does know all of my ways. all the ways that I wish so desperately would just change over night, all the places I want Him to sanctify, He knew of. and yet, that didn’t stop Him from intricately and curiously forming me as if embroidered with various colors. He knew all of my days and He created me to live them knowing He knows me and loves me and He’s known me and loved me since He made me. Nothing has changed.

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