living less loved

8 Sep

He loves me! by Wayne Jacobsen is a book you must read if you’ve ever questioned God’s love.  I know, how could you ever questioned God’s love… but we’re not talking theory or ideas.  We’re talking how the core of your heart responds to situations.

Jacobsen writes:  “When we worry that God will ask us for some horrible sacrifice, we live less loved.  When we indulge ourselves in sin, we live less loved.  when we give into anxiety in the crush of our circumstances, we live less loved.  when we try to earn God’s favor by our own efforts, we live less loved.  Even when we get caught up in religious obligations to make ourselves acceptable to him, we live less loved.”

So, naturally I asked myself and God where are places that I’m living less loved?

It hit me harder than I was expecting.  I came up with a list of 5 places that seem to be my struggle points.  The places where I believe lies about the most, the places I have to fight for truth to reign over my emotions, the places I have finally gotten brave enough to talk to God about.  The places of anxiety about the future – a job and a husband.  My perception of myself and my response to conviction to sin.  The raw places in me that are easy to walk timidly around.

Then I asked God how I get to the place of living loved?  I couldn’t get past Ephesians 3: 14-19.  I find myself here often, but today it held a new weight.  In the amplified version, it continually comes back experiencing God’s love.

“My Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts!  May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love.  That you may have the power to be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth of it; that you may really come to know [practically, through experience for yourself] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself!]”

Really come to know – practically, through experience for yourself.  Which then surpasses the knowledge which is without experience.  I know I’ve experienced the love of God time and time again.  But I felt an invitation while reading it to ask God to allow me to experience His love in those places where I’m specifically living less loved.  I can try all I want to get myself into shape and conquer these places on my own but that’s about as ridiculous as it sounds.  It defeats the whole point God is trying to show my heart.

It is only be looking to Him, offering those places to Him and giving Him access to my eyes that I will live fully loved.  For it is never His love towards me that changes – that is constant and extravagant.  It’s how I see and receive it.  Something I know and have heard in church but a place I want to fight for to be real.  To be apart of my story.  Of how God took eyes that merely knew without experience the love of God to standing securely and being flooded by God Himself – a love that holds no barriers, no boundaries and no dimensions beyond deep, wide, and high.

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