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Going Big

4 Feb

I hope everyone has someone in their life that has some crazy grace to speak directly to the raw places in your heart that you can hardly nail down yourself.  I discovered the person God strategically placed in my life earlier this year.  Within little time actually being around me, she speaks truth and hits the places in my heart that I knew were there but didn’t know how to even communicate.

So of course one of the things she has told me has been stirring in my heart.  She charged me to, “go big and live like you’re not leaving.”

It seems simple but has made me realize just how valuable of advice that is for now and for seasons to come.  What happens when you’re in a constant state of transition (one year long program, summer jobs, eight months overseas, ect) is you kind of brace yourself for goodbyes.  The tendency is to back off relationally after realizing another goodbye is on it’s way.  I did this with the end of Elevate, with my whole summer job in DC, with the end of college… trying to lighten the hit of saying another goodbye and facing another transition.

I’ve come to ask myself though, which is worse –  hard goodbyes or regret for not living in the days given?  I think I would much rather face the hard goodbye because I loved fully and gave my whole self to what was in front of me than give up days in a sacred space God has given me.

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settling on what matters

8 Dec

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I stumbled across a quote one day on Pinterest.  It started as an innocent search for recipes to use my canned pumpkin glory find in Port au Prince and then as Pinterest normally does, it sucked me into the general gazing for much longer than intended.

Back to the quote – May my heart be kind, my mind fierce and my spirit brave.  It resonated instantly and has crept it’s way into my thoughts quite frequently lately.  Living here has forced me to prioritize and start to recognize what matters to me and what doesn’t and if those things line up with the character and kingdom of God.  Although I just lengthened my stay in Haiti, it is still short and the end is coming quickly.  In this season am I recalibrating and landing on healthy rhythms that draw me closer to the heart of God or am I letting days pass by?  My prayer is in the former but I’m finding myself more convinced it’s less about the outcomes and circumstances and more about the attitude of the heart.

No matter where I land I pray my heart stays kind.  That self protection doesn’t build a wall that keeps myself at a distance or hardens my heart from the hardship.  I feel things strongly and sometimes it’s overwhelming.  May I not back away from kindness.  May that be my natural response.

May my mind be fierce.  Always growing, learning, expanding, listening, questioning, active in what’s in front of me.  May it not grow dull or complacent.

May my spirit be brave.  May I face scary things because God says so.  May I try new things and experiences.  Would fear not steal away the full life offered to me.

These pieces, these thoughts, they resonate with me.  No matter where I land or what my surroundings I pray that God in me is transforming my heart, mind and spirit to stay kind, fierce and brave.

10 Mar

I’ve been rereading this post frequently lately. It’s still so true for my heart over a year later. I’ve tried to post in 2013, but can’t get past a draft. I promise this year has been good – just not a season of recording. Which, I think is really okay. Here’s to daring to live not on the basis of what I see I can’t do, but on what what God says he will do.

trustfuriously

that is my heart anthem right now. God is so witty. He is so in tune with what my heart needs. This summer I stumbled across a verse that hit my gut. one that just stirred up my spirit. it didn’t really make sense, but i just got fired up reading it. a couple days later i find out my very best friend is stuck in india… to say the least. that verse came fully alive and made a whole lot of sense. He had spoken it before so it was a ready anchor for my soul. well, the same thing happened recently. i was just hanging out with God, no agenda and to be honest little expectation. decided to ask God what His fresh word for me that day was and I stumbled upon Romans 4. and got blown up. another gut punching stir in the spirit moment. and…

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